Feeding Birds

All I seem to care about these days is whether or not birds are eating at my bird feeders. I’ve been a nervous wreck trying to place them where my tiny friends might notice. I’ve switched them from tree to bush to tree several times in the last few months. I’ve become obsessed.

Last night I was feeling forlorn. Nothing was working. People who asked to speak to me about my spiritual companioning practice didn’t follow up. Relationships are faltering even though I care deeply (desperately?) to keep them going. I’m not making much money in my art endeavors Birds are ignoring me. And, oh Lordy, what’s Trump up to now?

Freeing my spirit from my obsessions is the answer. So I keep trying to surrender, to hand them off as easily as I would let a bird fly from my hand if it happened to land on me. How many times must I affirm that I’m not in control!

Today I was speaking about just that with another spiritual director, Faith, who is a wise woman steeped in her rich African/American spiritual heritage. She suggested I create a “surrender” jar, decorating it with this and that so it’s meaningful to me. Then I can write down my worries on scraps of paper and drop each one in with intention. This I will do over and over again to remind myself that I’m not in control of other people’s (and birds’) journeys. I think I will also help my 6-yr old granddaughter make one. She’s already worried. Maybe it’s the times we live in.

And, lo and behold, as I finished my conversation with Faith in Washington, DC, I looked up to see a small flock of birds converging on both my bird feeders! Wonderful feathery creature friends!

I feel it’s a sign that I am fulfilling my heart’s desire to nurture the soul of the world, when I step out of the way.